Just Keep Doing What You're Doing... by Dave Merheje

My name is Dave Merheje and I’m a stand-up comedian. I was born in Canada and moved to the US about three years ago. I now live in New York City.

I always wanted to get into this business to be an entertainer and performer. And I knew it was going to be a long journey. At first I didn’t really know how it worked. I just started doing stand-up, but didn't know what I was doing. Throughout the years you learn, you keep pushing to find your voice on stage, and from there get into film and TV, and eventually get to the US. Get on a TV show there and continue to do stand-up. That was all I knew.

It's dope in the sense that when you're up there on stage, everything... all the business, all the negative stuff is out of your mind. I feel the most at home up there. I feel the happiest performing, feeding off the energy of the crowd. Sometimes you're gonna bomb, but as you keep doing this, you get over that. You don't get over it fully, but you understand that you're building towards something.

Personally, it took me a while to find my voice on stage. I started out doing setup punch. And I was like, I don't talk this way. I want to be able to do what I do. Obviously, when I'm up there, it's a heightened version of myself, but it’s the closest I can get to it, so I worked on that. There was a lot of times where I wanted to quit comedy. I wanted to stop doing it. A lot of times it brought more pain than joy. A lot of times I just wanted to give up. There were even dark periods where I had invested so much time into this, and you get older, and you're like… what do I do? I could quit, but I don't really like doing anything else. So it's just some dark times where a feeling crept up of like harming yourself, suicide, or whatever the case was.

Very glad I didn't do it, obviously. But you go to those places because you're stressed, you're depressed, and you feel desperate, you feel like you failed. All these bad thoughts in your mind, where you build a narrative... instead of using them as a catalyst, and flipping it to more of a drive to be better. Sometimes you sit with that lull. And I did. It never really goes away, I feel. You keep working, but those thoughts don't go away sometimes.

It's not guaranteed that I'll never feel sad or depressed again, that there won't be any downs. Comedy is all ups and downs. The ups are super, super great, obviously. The downs... shit. But in the end, this is what I want to do. So I work on it, just like I work on my stage act, I work on my mind. It’s like, if this is really what you want to do, you gotta find a way to bounce back. I feel very grateful and blessed I have found something that I love, and to dream. It’s something that I really like waking up and going to do. I found that. Not everyone has that, and I try to look at that as the top thing, always. And then I try to have fun, not a forced happiness, but be happy because I'm doing something that I enjoy.

I would say, even two years ago, I was like, man, what the fuck am I doing? You know what I'm saying? Looking at my age, I've been in America for three years, got my green card but nothing really was popping. I felt like, fuck, same thing, those dark thoughts, and just like, what do I do? And then I thought, why don't you just focus on trying to be happy every day. Don’t force it. Just go out there and take it one day at a time, and work towards something. And then, man... it worked.

My life changed for me so much and so fast. I was offered to film a Netflix special, as part of Comedians of the World, at Just for Laughs. Gerry Dee took a chance on me and gave me a role on the last two seasons on his show, Mr. D. It taught me a lot, taught me how to be a better actor. He just gave me that confidence. And Macaw Studios produced my comedy special and album Good Friend Bad Grammar which was well received. It is one of the best things I've ever done, because we did it on our own, we got to do it the way we wanted to. They allowed me to just express myself... in my own voice. And it's still one of the dopest things I've ever done. I won't ever forget that.

And then I got to star in a show called Ramy which comes out on Hulu this month. US television, the goal I wanted to get, and all these other goals I wanted to achieve, I achieved. And to think that two years ago, maybe even a year ago, I was like, what the... literally, what the fuck am I doing? I didn't know if it was going to work out. I kept working hard, and it just did.

They say it all the time, you gotta just keep pushing forward. If you focus on something, you're going to get it. A lot of times, even back in the day, lots of comedians who are even friends of mine right now, or just comedians in general would shit on my act. Whatever the reason, there was a lot of negative bullshit, a lot of letdowns. You get mad, you start pointing fingers at everyone else. And you start thinking why me? But then you cut that bullshit out, cut it out, and just focus on creating dope things you like, and just doing things that you thoroughly enjoy, and making people laugh. Good things will happen.

My friend Caroline would always tell me... she always was locked into, "You're making that audience laugh, that's the beautiful part of the whole thing." And I always remember that. Just keep doing what you're doing. I know it sounds like people just say that, but I'm telling you, I did that... and, yeah.

Dave Merheje - @DaveMerheje